Networking 101: How To Connect And Not Be The Loner In The Room

Networking, we all know we have to do it, yet most of us don’t do it well.  We feel awkward in a room full of people we don’t know and most of us try too hard.  Networking is not about finding a job.  It’s about making connections that will help you in your career.  Networking is about connecting and building relationships.  It’s knowing how to ask questions and give answers to engage with others. 

You’re ready to make eye-contact, you’ve practiced a firm handshake, and your business cards are ready.  Now what?  Your next steps:

1.  Find someone.  This is easy to do.  Find someone who is alone and walk up and introduce yourself.  Go to the bar or food table and start speaking to the person next to you.  Do you know what that dish is?  Have you tried anything yet?  I’m not sure what I want.  What are you having?  These events are hectic, mind if I join you?  Or, simply say, Hello, I’m Marie.

2.  Monologues are not allowed.  To make a contact, you must listen.  Waiting for an opening so you can ask for what you want, won’t work.  You need to connect with someone before they will help you.

3.  Ask questions.  Just like having questions to ask at an interview, you need ask questions to make a connection.  Listen, to what the person is saying and ask about that.  Is this your first time at one of these events?  What made you decide to come to this one?  Are you from the area?  What do you do?  How did you get a job like that?  What do you like about it? 

4.  Share. Wait for the natural opening and then talk about yourself.  Just remember, it’s not ‘I need a new job.’  It’s ‘I’ve been in the industry for a while and now I’d like to try something different.’ 

5.  Be sincere.  Don’t go from person-to-person with the same intro and questions.  Everyone has their own story and you must be sincere in your interest in learning about them.  Be confident but not pushy.  Be sincere but not patronizing.

6.  It’s a party.  You don’t have to stick to business.  If you like someone’s outfit, tell them.  If someone is discussing a recent sporting event, join in.  Just because a meeting might be business related, it doesn’t mean you have to be business formal.  Socialize.

7.  Exit.  Don’t hang around.  If the conversation is drying up, excuse yourself and get something to eat or drink.  Introduce someone you know into the group.  Tell them that you’d love to connect but want to speak with more people.

Remember to get contact information, to follow-up immediately and to network on a regular basis.  Networking is building relationships.  They may help you now, later or not at all.  You never know but these contacts are great to have and know.